i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
