It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
