every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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