someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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