He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
