JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
