Your dad touched me again.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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