The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
