Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
