i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
