Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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