you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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