she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
try to milk me bitch
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