You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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