You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
