I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Pants are for mortals
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
