ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
