Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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