Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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