69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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