its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
