The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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