Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
