Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
