I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
