I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She told me I should be a condom model.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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