it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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