Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
