I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
