tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
