Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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