I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
