You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
