the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
