i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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