ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
