marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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