absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
