why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
