i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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