"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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