why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
