do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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