you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
