i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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