I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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