Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
