Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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