My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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