Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
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